In short, don’t expect your friend to be a mind reader: Tell them how you feel and then, after they know, see how they change their actions. Then, "if you have given your friend multiple chances to provide either the level of support you need or to attend to the boundaries you've set, and they have failed to do that for a considerable amount of time, it may be time to think about minimizing that person's access to you," advises Boateng.
If you’re unclear as to whether or not you want to end your friendship, you might want to try talking things through with your bud to ensure you’re on the same page before saying goodbye to them for good. "I'm a big believer in giving the other person the benefit of the doubt," Boateng explains. But sometimes, it's worth trying to repair a friendship. Whatever pushes you to cut things off, if you simply don’t feel good about yourself or your friendship when you’re together, that’s reason enough to go your separate ways. Maybe you don’t feel like your best self around them because they regularly put you down or gossip about you.) This can look like a large, singular incident of crossing a boundary, or perhaps you’ve been noticing their toxicity over time. "A boundary has been crossed in the relationship and, due to the pain of that betrayal, it becomes very challenging to see how trust can be regained," Boateng explains. Here are some other signs that you and a friend should call it quits:Īnother major reason for a friendship breakup? Betrayal, Boateng says. All in all, one-sided friendships are a one-way ticket to dissatisfaction. Maybe they never ask about your life, but expect you to hear about theirs all the time. Or, they never notice when you’re upset or need to talk. Perhaps you invite your pal to hangout, and they always want you to come to them, rather than switching on and off. Sometimes, however, you are able to communicate your needs just fine-it’s your friend who chooses not to meet them, Boateng says. In this kind of relationship, the situation oftentimes comes down to one person’s needs not being met, Boateng explains.įor example, a friend may have trouble communicating their needs, and if "they cannot say what they need, cannot meet those needs," Boateng notes. You might even feel like the friendship’s off balance, with one of you giving more to the friendship than the other. A stall in communication can also lead to people growing apart over time, as it becomes increasingly difficult to keep in touch, especially as their daily lives don’t mesh anymore, Bonoir adds. "Whenever there’s a challenge on either side communicating those things, it creates a schism that makes the relationship not viable or helpful moving forward," Boateng says. ‘I Started Going To Therapy With My Best Friend’.Otherwise, "they’ll be left lost and confused if you don’t say anything," Bonoir says. (And you might even avoid doing so…) "But, you owe it to your relationship, even if you’re not in a good place with the person," says Andrea Bonior, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing and Losing, and Keeping Up With Your Friends.
That said, sometimes friendships can become too damaging to continue, and because you’re so connected, it’s difficult to cut ties. Many people wonder how they’ll be able to cope without the support of that friendship." "Friendships can play a role in your overall mental and emotional health," Boateng adds.
Friends can even become family, if not something pretty darn close to it. And while you may not have been romantically involved, this doesn’t mean that the termination of your friendship doesn’t hurt like hell.įriendship breakups can be particularly challenging because a close friend is someone who you rely on for emotional support, continuity, socialization, and processing, says Akua Boateng, PhD, a Philadelphia-based psychologist. That’s right: No matter how many years you’ve been besties, sometimes even the longest friendships can come to an end (especially if they become toxic). Yes, romantic breakups are super painful-but friendship breakups can hurt just as badly.
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